Issue 7:
Want
Ron Gibson, Jr.
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If You Fall
They insist I speak because a familiar voice helps increase recovery. So I read The Catcher in the Rye aloud. It's the part where Holden is on the train, and he convinces that woman her son is revered by his fellow schoolmates. I can hear the ghost of your laugh from beyond the beeps and mechanical breathing each time Holden sarcastically calls the woman's son a "prince."
But when I stop; reality's white, antiseptic, and empty.
Your sleep-bruised eyelids look plastic, revealing nothing of the worlds we shared on our shingled rooftop. When we laid back, shirtless, feeling the vibration of voices fighting within, looking deep into the billion-eyed sky. We'd talk about the mysteries of the universe and girls, until we forgot we were poor and bound by gravity.
One night you stood at the edge of the roof; your shoulder blades like wings, and asked, "What happens when you die?"
I said, "I don't know."
And now, years later, I am no wiser.
I watch the doctor turn off your respirator, and your voice inside me says, like that night, "I want to fly."
I stand alone, like I promised, trying not to cry, waiting to catch you.
~Ron Gibson, Jr.
Ron has also recently had work included in Andrei Codrescu's Exquisite Corpse and Driver's Side Airbag. Email.
© 2001 by Ron Gibson, Jr. All Rights Reserved.
© 2000-2002 by Cayuse Press. All Rights Reserved.
This page updated April 30, 2002.